Lately CWRU has grown pretty blatant about its goal of gaining some national recognition, which was apparently brought on by the complaints of faculty members who were tired of being asked, "Is that a four-year institution?" and, "I bet those Minnesota winters are killers, huh?" at academic conferences.
Right now, CWRU's students are perceived merely as intelligent sloths, counting down the credit hours until graduation.
"So," you say, "how can I help? How can I show that this place turns out inventive leaders? What can I do to put this place on the map and help recruit other top-notch creative people like myself to this school?"
It's simple. What CWRU needs is a good, clever prank.
I'm talking about a major-league, lawsuits-are-pending, "This is Dan Rather reporting from Cleveland" type of stunt. If everyone logging onto a computer at MIT found their accounts erased with a taunting message like, "We are Case. Fear us," as all that remained, their respect for us would balloon. Trust me.
Heck, it doesn't even have to be a prank; any large-scale stunt will do. If some motivated students stormed and seized Adelbert Hall one weekend in protest of not being able to pay tuition with points, it would be sure to draw the attention and admiration of politically-active future senators from across the country.
So what do you say, gang? The reputation of CWRU is in our hands, and it only takes one motivated dreamer to get the ball rolling. Have some spirit and do your school proud: go cause some trouble.
